Month: October 2014

Someone is in your way – I’m not saying any names.

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Everybody has a talent
Everybody has something to give
All of us has something we’re good at
All of us have a gift that makes us
Special and unique

We hear it all the time. It’s repeated over and over again to remind us of what we’re capable of.  Everyone has a special something – a talent. My kids love that song on Yo Gabba Gabba. OK, I really like it too.

But what if your talent is you being  really good at continually and successfully getting in your own way? Yes, that can be a talent. If it’s something you’re good at, and makes you special and unique. It qualifies as a talent. Don’t look at me like that. I’m just telling you what Yo Gabba Gabba says.

It’s no secret that we’ve all been guilty of it at some point. Along the way there’s been something that we’ve really wanted to do. The problem could be a little voice in our heads saying all sorts of things that we choose to believe. When it comes to something we really want to do, we can tell ourselves a million reasons why it won’t work. Suddenly we’re convinced we’re not ready or you can’t do it or any other “reason”.

You wanted to start a blog but coming up with a that “perfect” first post was too much pressure and you’re still tweaking it – after a few months.

You spend all of your time planning for what you really want to do instead of doing it (guilty!)

You’re super talented but hold on tight to the thought that you’re not good enough. You are too hard on yourself. Ms. Perfect, anyone?

confinedvia

So how do you shake all of that?

First, allow me to give you permission to tell that little voice to kick rocks! Yup. Do that.

Next, watch what you do. What I mean is, watch yourself like you’d watch someone else. Why? It’s always easier to see where other people could do things differently. Turning that eye on ourselves helps us to see what we’re doing and where we could be switching things up. We’ll start to notice the habits that make us our best road block. Change those habits. Get closer to what we want.

Decide what success looks like to YOU! It’s not the same for everyone. For some people success means lots of money and power. For others it’s all having a family that’s thriving. Just because success looks different for you doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Work toward your own level of success and don’t let others re-define that for you.

Give up on perfection. Pssst… it doesn’t exist anyway. Don’t kick your projects or ideas to the curb simply because they didn’t come out “perfectly”.

Do you have a no-fail tip for getting out of your own way? Share in the comments.

I’m Being Watched…

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I’m being watched. At all times, I’m being watched. Whether I like it or not, there are eyes on me and all that I do. I’m not always sure how I feel about that.

It’s not what you say, it’s what you do.

As a mom, I’m finding these words couldn’t be more true. My kids make me take a look at the good as well as the not so pretty stuff about me. It’s like they are tiny mirrors that show me my flaws while still seeing the good in me. It can be a challenge to be under that kind of microscope. I want them to see the best of me. I think it’s also important that they know that I’m a real person though, too. Did I mention that it’s a challenge?  It is helping me to be a better person. For that, I’m thankful.

There have been a few times lately that it’s been so obvious that I’m being watched. The whole idea came right home recently with my son. He was asking me for an orange. He wanted to peel it himself. I handed it over. He was having a hard time breaking through the thick peel to get it started. He reluctantly handed it back to me – defeated. I peeled it and handed it back to him. As I was giving him the orange, I noticed he already had one – perfectly peeled. I asked him if he had peeled it himself. He proudly told me that he had. He said, “I learned from you. I watched you, Mommy!”

Recently, I’ve been getting back to my old fitness routine. I have been taking better care of myself and making my fitness a priority again. That includes me working out every morning. I have these thirty minute work outs with Jillian Michaels that has been bringing on the sweat.

THIS SWEATMy daughter has a project to do for those thirty minutes. I hand her some puzzles or play doh or she just plays with her toys. Of course, she can’t spend the WHOLE time doing that. She jumps in and works out with me too. It’s really fun to watch her get involved. It’s at that point that I like that I’m being watched. I like that she’s a witness to me taking care of myself. I’m thrilled that she’s getting to see fitness as a priority.

While working out one day, I was getting worn out with one of the moves. I decided to just half step my way through it. Baby girl wasn’t having that at all. She looked at me and said, “Mama, do like girl!” She called me out! Jillian was demanding high kicks and I just wasn’t getting high enough. I had to step my game up thanks to my little workout partner.

Lesson: Even when you think they aren’t looking, your kids are watching you. The other lesson is to never underestimate the determination of a child. My son and his persistence with the orange is proof of that.

These watchful eyes are what keep me moving. They keep me making progress toward my dreams. Through my daughter watching me work out she’s getting to see fitness as the norm. I love that both of my babies are seeing me pursuing my dreams as normal too. I want them to know that whatever they want is possible. If I can model that for them – even better!

What cool stuff do you think your kids are picking up by watching you?

These Three Words – Game Changer

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Recently I was watching Oprah’s Lifeclass. There is always an interesting discussion happening on that show. Oprah has a guest on and they talk about their ideas and viewpoints on life topics. It’s usually someone who has positioned themselves as an expert and has a book to promote. I always find little helpful nuggets from this show. The way they get the audience involved, in studio and through social media, is really cool.

One day in particular, I was watching and Steve Harvey was on. Personally, watching his transformation from a standup comedian to actor and mega entreprenuer has been amazing. I can usually take something from his thoughts and advice. This day was no different. He was talking about his new book “Think Like A Success”. During his time on the show, he took questions from the audience. One mother asked about her kids. Her children are all adults ranging in age from their mid-20s to 30 years old. She was still supporting all of them financially in some way. This “support” was putting a strain on her relationship with her husband. She pretty much wanted Steve to tell her she was right for taking care of her “babies”, as she called them. Oprah and Steve reminded her that her children were no longer babies but instead had babies of their own.

Steve told her that he and his wife regularly say these three words to their kids:

Your WingsAs soon as he said the words, “Your wings work!”, I smiled. I think that’s perfection. For our kids, we want to give them the world. The issue with the woman on the show was knowing when to pull the plug. We can’t hold them so tight that we break their wings. At some point, we have to let them test those wings and just be there for the shifts in the wind that knock them off their path.

The truth is,we all need to know that we are fully capable of the life we want. We could all use a reminder here and there to keep flapping. Sometimes we don’t use our wings at all and wonder why we’re not moving. If a bird attempts to leave the nest without attempting to fly, you’ll find it still near that tree. The bird will either be at the foot of the tree injured and upset with his position in life or dead because of his lack of effort. The same is true of our dreams. If we don’t try our dreams will be stuck. They’ll remain a dream, but a dormant one.goal dream

The other alternative is they could wither and disappear because we gave them no effort. The solution is to START FLAPPING! You may not immediately soar out of the nest but you’ll be moving. You’ll begin to soar in due time. Promise!