moms

Never Too Late

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My whole “mama motivator” moniker was started because I have encountered far too many moms who felt like it was too late to do certain things that might bring them some happiness. I talked too many moms who felt like everything about them had to hit the back burner because their name changed to mama. Simply put, my message is it’s not too late. It never is. Let this man be your inspiration…

life-never-to-late

It’s never to late for what, you ask? I have a small list. Feel free to add to it.

It’s Never Too Late…

  • to start over – were you working on something and life got in the way so you put it down. Now is a good time to pick it back up.
  • to chase your dreams – always wanted to write a book? How about starting the outline today?
  • to change your ways – fed up with your fitness. Go for a walk, a good one that gets your heart moving. All it takes is one step.
  • to be positive – what you focus on grows. If you focus on the sucky stuff, that’s all you’ll see. Try to look for the positive in every situation and you’ll start to notice the positive more than the negative – guaranteed.
  • to learn something new – always wanted to learn to paint. Take a class. Or break the ice by taking a paint and sip class. It’s fun and you’ll get your artist juices flowing.
  • to be inspired – inspiration really is everywhere. We just have to look for it. I’m most inspired by my kids. There’s something about the innocence they bring to everything that keeps me inspired.

 

reviseAny thing you’d like to add? It’s never too late to…

I’m Being Watched…

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I’m being watched. At all times, I’m being watched. Whether I like it or not, there are eyes on me and all that I do. I’m not always sure how I feel about that.

It’s not what you say, it’s what you do.

As a mom, I’m finding these words couldn’t be more true. My kids make me take a look at the good as well as the not so pretty stuff about me. It’s like they are tiny mirrors that show me my flaws while still seeing the good in me. It can be a challenge to be under that kind of microscope. I want them to see the best of me. I think it’s also important that they know that I’m a real person though, too. Did I mention that it’s a challenge?  It is helping me to be a better person. For that, I’m thankful.

There have been a few times lately that it’s been so obvious that I’m being watched. The whole idea came right home recently with my son. He was asking me for an orange. He wanted to peel it himself. I handed it over. He was having a hard time breaking through the thick peel to get it started. He reluctantly handed it back to me – defeated. I peeled it and handed it back to him. As I was giving him the orange, I noticed he already had one – perfectly peeled. I asked him if he had peeled it himself. He proudly told me that he had. He said, “I learned from you. I watched you, Mommy!”

Recently, I’ve been getting back to my old fitness routine. I have been taking better care of myself and making my fitness a priority again. That includes me working out every morning. I have these thirty minute work outs with Jillian Michaels that has been bringing on the sweat.

THIS SWEATMy daughter has a project to do for those thirty minutes. I hand her some puzzles or play doh or she just plays with her toys. Of course, she can’t spend the WHOLE time doing that. She jumps in and works out with me too. It’s really fun to watch her get involved. It’s at that point that I like that I’m being watched. I like that she’s a witness to me taking care of myself. I’m thrilled that she’s getting to see fitness as a priority.

While working out one day, I was getting worn out with one of the moves. I decided to just half step my way through it. Baby girl wasn’t having that at all. She looked at me and said, “Mama, do like girl!” She called me out! Jillian was demanding high kicks and I just wasn’t getting high enough. I had to step my game up thanks to my little workout partner.

Lesson: Even when you think they aren’t looking, your kids are watching you. The other lesson is to never underestimate the determination of a child. My son and his persistence with the orange is proof of that.

These watchful eyes are what keep me moving. They keep me making progress toward my dreams. Through my daughter watching me work out she’s getting to see fitness as the norm. I love that both of my babies are seeing me pursuing my dreams as normal too. I want them to know that whatever they want is possible. If I can model that for them – even better!

What cool stuff do you think your kids are picking up by watching you?

5 Tips for Rocking SAHM (ommyhood)

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After being a working mom for the last few years, life has changed a bit and I’m trying my hand at being a stay at home mom. I’d heard from my friends that being a stay at home mom wasn’t a job for the weak. My friends weren’t lying. I’m more tired as a stay at home mom than I ever was when I worked outside the home. I think it’s because I have way more physical labor now. Instead of sitting behind a desk, I am hauling my kids around, in and out of car seats and shopping carts as we head off on our daily adventures.

rewarding mom

It’s a different grind. As a working mom, I had stresses and feelings of guilt. I still have issues as a stay-at-home-mom, they’ve just changed. I just felt the need to clarify that because I’m not on board with the whole mom wars thing. I don’t think more highly of one over the other. Motherhood is hard. Period.

I’ve learned a few things after almost a year at home with the kids. Here are my top five ways for surviving as a stay at home mom.

1 – Have a plan!

My day would not work if I didn’t have a plan of what I wanted to do with the kids each day. My kids can get a little stir crazy and need activity and routine. I have to keep that in mind when I’m planning our week or none of us are happy.

2 – Respect the nap

I can’t just keep going with what I’d like to do if it’s going to cut into their nap time. If their routine is off too much, so is their behavior. Let’s just say I learned this the hard way… a few times.

3 – Meal planning saves sanity

Along with planning our day, I try to plan our meals.. all of them. Many times, I pack our lunches so that we can have a picnic at times or just be ready with food if we’re still out at lunch time. Dinner is always planned too so that I’m not doing that last minute panic when it’s time to eat.

4 – Talk to adults

I have found that calling my friends at some point during the day is essential. It’s just nice to have adult conversations. Many times, it’s flat outt necessary.

5 – Have something for yourself

It’s critical for me to have something that’s just for me. It helps if it’s something I’m passionate about. I’m used to working outside the home full time and I had to create something for me to continue to have that part of myself. Part of that is my blog, the other is this space. When I get a few hours to myself, I work on my projects and when I’m done it’s like I’ve been re-fueled. That boost makes me a better wife and mama. Win win!

What about you? What are your secrets for making mommyhood work?

Selfish Mama: Am I Talking to You?

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Not too long ago, I was having a conversation with a friend. She was telling me about something that she’d read. It was a post about motherhood. The author was talking about the need to be a selfish mother. At first, I balked. My thoughts went straight here:

  • You can’t be selfish once you have children.
  • Your life isn’t only about you.
  • The kids ALWAYS come first.
  • If you’re being a selfish mama, what are your kids missing out on while you’re all about you?

I”m the mom that felt bad every time I dropped my babies off at day care. I lingered around forever because I didn’t want to be away from my babies. Now that my babies are at home full time, I’m the mom who felt guilty when I run to the coffee shop to work for a few hours. Yeah, I’m that mama. Me a selfish mama. I couldn’t see it.

As she continued telling me about this post, I started to change my thoughts. It began to make sense to me. It really didn’t seem so bad to be selfish at all. The thing that popped into my head was the words I hear when boarding an airplane. They always tell you when traveling with children, in the event of an emergency to put the oxygen mask over your own face first. Growing up, I thought that was messed up. You’re telling people to protect themselves and kick the kids to the curb? Of course, not. That’s what it sounded like to me as a little kid though.

self care aMaking sure you have oxygen first, makes you better equipped to help your child. If you’re struggling to breathe, you can’t think clearly. If you’re not thinking clearly, you won’t make it. If you don’t make it, how can you help your kids? I think the same is true overall in motherhood. I have been guilty of being last on my own list. I have gotten better about it though. For example, I know that I need to get myself ready first in the morning. If I don’t, things tend to go a bit off track. It’s just easier for me to get my children together, if I’m already pulled together. In a sense, it sets the tone. My babies see that I’m dressed and they know what’s expected. They know what’s coming next. It’s their turn and they begin to do things to get ready.

Could that be true in other cases? Of course! If we set out to take care of ourselves first in other areas, will it teach our kids to make themselves a priority? There are definitely extremes to this. There are people who don’t spend time with their kids because of this idea of putting yourself first. There has to be a balance though, right? There are times to be selfish and there are time to make yourself “next in line”. It’s a dance.  At times, I tend to hang out in the “next in line” phase a bit longer than I should. I am learning to put myself on my own list more often. Even when it feels selfish.

As moms, it’s no secret we juggle a lot. We feed, clean and clothe small people. We entertain, teach and engage them. We take them to countless activities and pretty soon your calendar only reflects your child’s social activities. Am I the only one here? It can get to the point that you can’t remember the last time you had a meal with your husband that didn’t involve cutting up someones else’s food. All of these things are part of being parents, absolutely. The thing is, being a parent isn’t the whole of who we are. Sometimes selfishly taking care of the rest of you is a must! (tweet this)An empty lantern provides no light

That could mean making time for a hair appointment, a pedicure or a shopping trip to Target – ALONE. Make time to have a meal (you didn’t prepare) and gaze at that hottie you married. You almost forgot about that part of him because you’re used to seeing him as a father now. Make time for sharing a meal and maybe a *gasp* glass of wine with your girlfriends. It feels good to laugh your face off about grown woman stuff every now and then. It may feel selfish but I promise it will make you a better mama.

What about you? What do you think of this idea of a being a selfish mama? 

And then I said “Why Not?”

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It took becoming a mom for me to greet life with a “why not?”.

My son just does stuff. He thinks it and he does it. He is just completely open to life. The kid has never met a stranger (we’re working on that). He walks into a room full of kids and his response is “hey guys!”. He’s always open to new people and new experiences. I love that about him. I love that I have become more like him. Isn’t it funny that I became more like him? I admire his open approach to life. I know that it’s because everything is new to him. He’s only four and so much of life is a mystery to him. He is not afraid of the mystery though. Instead he welcomes it. Isn’t it awesome how kids make you see things differently?

kid-president-1 I have to say that since becoming a mother, I have noticed that I’m far more open as well. Whether that means sharing my experiences or speaking up when opportunities are in front of me. I had one of those moments recently. There was a woman I saw on television. Her missions and goals directly lined up with mine. I saw an opportunity to reach out and I did.

In times past, I would have been to shy to reach out – even on line. The mama version of me has an attitude of “why not?”  So, I found an email and reached out. It felt so good to hit “send” on that message. It was yet another reminder for me of my growth. Reaching out to her falls right in line with my mission to inspire and motivate moms to find and follow their passions. It felt right. It would be great if a connection is formed because of my willingness to reach out. Even if it leads to nothing at all, it’s a step for me.  It doesn’t matter what happens from here. The success for me is in making the move, taking the step.

And that is how I’ll keep working toward making my dreams come true. Whether they be giant steps or baby steps – the thing is, keep moving! And to think all of this new found boldness started because of a little kid – mine.

How have your kids changed you? What have you said “why not” to lately?

Update 4/23/14 12:57pm PST: The woman I sent the email to responded! You’ll be hearing more about her next month! Excited!

Putting the Pieces Together – Guilt Free

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There is a lot I want out of this life. A lot. As I work to put the pieces together, I sometimes give myself a hard time about what I’m able to do. Sure, being a mom of two kids and a wife to my honey makes things all kinds of challenging. The kids require and are totally entitled to my full attention. They’re young (4 and nearly 2) and love their mommy time! I find ways to balance my snuggles with them and my time on this laptop. It’s a dance. What I know though is if mama is happy, my babies will be happy. That keeps me going toward all the things that help my happy.

There are several things in the works but when I can’t get them done as fast as I would like, I tend to be really hard on myself. I’m learning to give myself a break. I can feel good about doing what I can do, when I can do it. It’s no secret that I can’t go after my dreams the same way I could when I was single. That doesn’t mean I can’t go after them though. Honestly, the single version of me had completely different dreams anyway. The single version of me was younger with more energy too! LOL!

The only personI just have to go about my dreams and passions in a different way, at a different pace. I’m cool with that.  To get things done, I make a small list for the day.When I say small, I’m talking one or two things to accomplish once the kids go to bed. Once I get those things done, I feel like I’ve been successful. If I do more than what’s on that list – cupcakes for everyone! Whoot whoot! I don’t overcrowd my list with so many things that I make my success seem impossible. I like a challenge, but I’m not a fan of self sabotage!. That’s not fair to me. I always have to be fair to me, right?

That’s how I carve out time for my dream building. How about you? Am I the only one guilty of being WAY too hard on myself?